Honoring Where You Are While Moving Into Where You Want to BeMay 09, 2022
00:00 Honoring Where You Are While Moving Into Where You Want to Be
01:39 Social Awkwardness
03:06 Honoring Where I Am Now
04:30 Starbucks Time or Alone Time
05:53 Honoring Where I’ll Be
Have you ever felt like you were making progress in one area of your life when all of a sudden, it seems unsustainable to continue? Do you struggle to keep up the positive life changes you've been making for a long time?
J and I are attending Dan Mangena's Alchemy of Abundance conference virtually, and I'll share with you my personal experience of what I've been learning.
Today's topic is honoring where you are while moving into where you want to be. In the past, I've successfully had several quantum jumps where you make huge progress in a very short amount of time. However, it's generally more sustainable if you make microshifts; this is one of Dan's core principles. Microshifting takes small incremental steps toward your goal rather than one huge leap. This is also mentioned in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. Yesterday, I learned that I have some beliefs that are not serving me.
Your subconscious mind often uses your belief system to filter out what you believe you can do. We've talked about the reticular activating system, and Dan talks about how you notice things that you're primed to notice. Your brain takes in so much information that it can't bring everything to your conscious mind all the time, and it would be overwhelming. So it only lets you notice certain things and intentionally leaves out other things. Your belief system can act as a filter for what you see.
If I believe it's impossible for there to be a spaceship in the middle of this field, I'm likely not going to see a spaceship in the middle of this field, even if there was a spaceship in the middle of it this field. That's the concept of how the reticular activating system can use our beliefs to decipher and filter what to show us.
One of the areas of my life that I want to improve is my social life. Recently, J and I have been focused so much on our family, work, purpose, calling, and self-improvement that we haven't focused as much on our social life. And I've noticed that I've become more self-conscious than I had been in the past. There was a time when I struggled with social anxiety in high school. But I learned, and I grew out of it. I feel like I almost kind of worked myself back into it recently.
Since our world is like a mirror, reflecting what we're projecting out from us, I've sensed social awkwardness from other people that I've been talking to. Mostly because of what I'm putting out there. I don't think most people think that I've been socially awkward. If you asked somebody how they view me, it would not be socially awkward, but that's been my experience because that's what I've been projecting.
So, challenged by what I learned at the conference yesterday, I went to a birthday party last night after the conference, and I intended to be my true, authentic self: not hold anything back, not put up any walls, and just let myself be me. I also have learned from Charisma on Command - we love the Charisma on Command YouTube channel. Make sure you check that out - how to continue a conversation going. So I made sure my mouth was always running last night. I would say what was on my mind and say what I was thinking, instead of filtering everything I said and everything I did, thinking, "Oh, that's too boring. I shouldn't talk about that."
Honoring Where I Am Now
My world reflected so much connection with everyone around me. I intended to be authentic, present, and converse with as many people as possible. People were coming up to me that I barely knew, wanting to have conversations with me. I felt like all of my interactions were upbeat. It was just a great time.
Now I wasn't planning on having that much success in one night, but it wasn't that much of a quantum jump because I've acted that way in my past. All I was trying to do was make a microshift toward being more present and engaging with people. If I want that progress to continue to be manifested in my life, I need to shift my identity and perception of who I am.
So I'm honoring where I am right now, as a person who sometimes feels more introverted and sometimes feels more extroverted. And as the person who can choose to be socially engaging.
I'm moving into this new belief system that when I am in a social, community environment, I desire to be present as the full, authentic Kay that I truly am.
It's important to take action based on our intentions. This is a Transurfing principle that we've talked about before. Just taking that action isn't enough to fully change your belief. To change your belief, you need to change how you view yourself and what your view is of your identity.
Starbucks Time or Alone Time
My next goal is to take more, what we call, Starbucks Time for myself. So Starbucks time came about from times that J and I would spend at coffee shops, just hanging out kind of alone, but in a social environment with headphones on, reading, doing research, working on our laptops, and doing whatever we wanted—having free time to explore ourselves and to get more connected with ourselves individually.
So now, when we refer to Starbucks time, we're usually referring to taking alone time: time for meditation time, journaling, time just to put on some relaxing music, or maybe have a cup of tea. That feeling of being at Starbucks, but without probably the background noise and the other strangers around you, and we are engaging with your essence.
For me, I know Starbucks Time is my Keystone Habit, as Brian Johnson talks about. In my Heroic app from Brian Johnson, I have Starbucks Time as my number one target or habit for the day. However, it's almost always the thing that I don't do. I do all my other habits and all my other targets, except for Starbucks Time. Where is the mental block?
As I'm working through this mental block, especially during this conference, I will be honoring where I am and the beliefs that I have. Something in my subconscious mind is trying to protect me by keeping me from taking Starbucks Time. It doesn't make conscious sense, but somehow it makes subconscious or unconscious sense.
Honoring Where I'll Be
While I'm changing my beliefs and moving into a new belief system that doesn't filter out my ability to take Starbucks Time, I will be honoring where I am, knowing everything is awesome right now. Everything is perfect, and I have everything that I need.
I do have everything I need. I'm blessed to be able to be at this conference, learning more about myself and about what tools I have to be able to make this transition into revealing even more of the reality of who I truly am, which is a Kay who takes regular Starbucks time, and who engages with her essence regularly.
So what are some of your goals and targets? What are the intentions that you can start microshifting into? Honor where you currently are while you move into a belief system that supports the identity of who you want to be.